


Epiphany

by starbxcks



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, James "Bucky" Barnes - Freeform, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader - Freeform, wedding au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26382361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbxcks/pseuds/starbxcks
Summary: In which Bucky is in love with his best friend and Y/n has an epiphany."You keep saying that you’re friends, but you look at him a moment too long for that to be true."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	Epiphany

Bucky was happy for Y/N. Really, truly happy for her. Seriously.

Sure, it felt like the wind got knocked out of him when she told him she was engaged to her boyfriend of seven months, and yeah, it was a slap in the face when he was asked to help plan the wedding, and fucking hell, asking him to be her Man of Honor was synonymous to a stab through the heart, he’s sure.

But he was _happy_ for her. _Seriously._

Was Bucky in love with his best friend? Of course he was- has been since their eighth grade snowball when she walked into the shitty gymnasium disguised as Paris in the ugliest dress he’s ever seen wearing a smile as bright as a thousand suns.

That tiny detail doesn’t matter, though. Y/N is in love with _Daniel_ and they were getting married. He would never ruin that for her, no matter how much it broke him.

Bucky would survive this. He may only have half a heart by the time this is all over, but he had his loving friends on his side to help him through.

…

“You are such a dumbass!” Natasha exclaimed angrily.

Most of the time. They were on his side most of the time.

“I think what Nat is trying to say,” Steve gave his girlfriend a pointed look.

“Is that you’re a fucking dumbass.” Sam cut in, strong arms folded across his chest.

The foursome were sat in Steve and Natasha’s living room having their monthly game night. Y/N was busy planning her honeymoon this weekend to attend.

“Thank you, Samuel. Your advice is otherworldly.” Bucky said dryly, leaning his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands.

“S’not like I could’ve said no.” He added lamely, embarrassed at how small he sounded.

“You could have, Buck. And you should have.” Steve sighed as he ran a hand down his face.

“Y/N would’ve been crushed!” He snapped, whipping his head up to look at his friends.

“She would’ve asked why and it’s not like I can say _hey doll, sorry I can’t be a part of your big day because I’m in love with you!_ She’d be fuckin’ mortified and never speak to me again.” The brunette squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring the stinging behind his eyes.

The trio of friends looked to each other helplessly, trying to figure out how to help their friend when they were interrupted by a _ping_ coming from Bucky’s phone.

“Look, I have to go. Carol just texted about having to meet her at Y/N’s place. Something about a wedding emergency.” Bucky said with a sigh. He stood to his feet and grabbed his leather jacket, giving his friends a tight lipped smile.

“I’ll be fine, guys. Only a week til this is all over.” He said his final goodbyes and headed out the door.

“We can all collectively agree that he won’t be fine, right?” Nat spoke as she heard the door close. Sam gave a rueful smile and laid back on their couch.

“He’s been spiraling since the engagement. This is going to kill him.”

All Steve could do was nod in agreement, praying to any higher being that would listen that his two best friends can find their way to each other before it’s too late.

…

Y/N was a mess. Worse than a mess. A fucking disaster, for lack of better word. Who would’ve thought she’d be wearing her wedding dress while double-fisting nacho cheese Doritos and vodka a week before her wedding?

She never meant for this to happen. Who purposely says yes to a proposal just to call it off a week before the wedding? No one, that’s who.

Epiphanies are beautiful things, Y/N won’t deny that. The aftershock of her own left her both frightened and exhilarated. She feels like she can breathe again because she finally understands why things haven’t felt right for the past couple of months.

She was marrying the wrong man.

But that doesn’t mean she gets a happy ending. She broke an innocent man’s heart and isn’t sure if the one she loves feels even an ounce of the same.

She takes another shot.

…

_“I was thinking while we’re in Barcelona for the honeymoon we can make a small trip to Romania.” Y/N said casually as she stepped into her shared bedroom with her soon to be husband. They’re just now getting into the nitty gritty of their post-wedding plans._

_“What the hell is in Romania?” Daniel asked, hazel eyes glued to the book he was reading._

_“Bucky was born there, and he’s always told me how beautiful it is. We’ve always wanted to go together but since you and I will be close I thought we could make a detour.” She replied quietly, avoiding the sharp look he shot at her._

_“You want to travel to a country you’ve wanted to visit with another man, on our_ honeymoon _?” He asks incredulous, slamming his book shut._

 _“Why don’t you just go on a honeymoon with_ him _instead?” He spat, making her flinch._

_“Where is this coming from, Daniel?” She asks sharply, scowling at the man in front of her._

_“You’re always talking about him! It’s always ‘Bucky this’ or ‘Bucky that’ with you, Y/N!”_

_“He’s my best friend! How many times have we had this argument? Bucky’s been the only constant in my life since we were kids and-” He cuts her off, standing from his spot on their bed._

_“He’s important to you, you care about him, blah blah blah.” Y/N watches with anger as he paces the room._

_“I’m starting to think he’s the one you should be marrying, Y/N.” Daniel says quietly, barely meeting her gaze._

_Her heart skips a beat at the thought of being married to Bucky and she ignores it, convincing herself it’s just her nerves._

_“Daniel, I love_ you,” _She declares, tears brimming in her eyes. Why was that so hard to say all of the sudden?_

_“Bucky and I are friends. Best friends. That’s it.” She tries to convince, a sour taste in her mouth at her own words._

_Daniel steps in front of her and grabs her left hand._

_“ **You keep saying that you’re friends, but you look at him a moment too long for that to be true.** ” Y/N freezes in place, mouth opening and closing as she wracks her brain for a response, but her tongue is heavy in her mouth and her heart won’t stop hammering in her chest and _why can’t she come up with a reasonable explanation?

_“Look, I love you, and I’m sure you love me too. Just not in the way you love him.” Y/N gasps softly as he slips off her engagement ring._

_“Daniel I-”_

_“It’s okay. I’ve always known there was something more between the two of you. I thought if I proposed that would maybe change things, but I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” He smiles sadly and Y/N feels like she’s going to vomit._

_“I’m sorry, I, I have to go.” Y/N murmurs, all but running out of his apartment to her car._

_She barely registers Daniel’s shouts that she forgot her shoes and that it’s snowing, her thoughts too loud. She starts her car with shaky hands and presses on the gas as soon as the door is shut, ignoring the stinging pain on her feet from the bitter snow. Tears flood her vision as she thinks back to his words._

_When has she ever looked at Bucky for too long? She’s so confused and she feels like she’ll start spiraling if she doesn’t talk to someone. Y/N quickly dials the number of one of her bridesmaids at a stop light, desperate for some guidance._

_“Do I look at Bucky differently?” She blurts, not giving her friend a moment to say hello._

_“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Y/N groans and slams her hands on the wheel._

_“Carol! Answer the question!” The bridesmaid laughs and pauses before answering._

_“You do.” Her friend confirms, making her heart stop._

_“There’s this…glint in your eyes whenever you look at him. You always check to see if he’s laughing whenever you tell a joke or make a reference to something. You do the same during movie nights.”_

_Heat rushes to Y/N’s face at Carol’s words. She never thought anyone noticed or that it was a big deal. What’s so wrong about wanting to see Bucky’s bright smile and adorable eye crinkles? With wanting to be the reason for them?_

_Wait, what?_

_“And whenever you’re anxious, or excited, or have good news you search for him, no matter if he’s around or not. Bucky does the same thing. It’s like an instinct you two have; you’re always looking for each other.”_

_Well, shit._

_“Oh.” She mutters, mouth feeling like sandpaper._

_Oh._

Oh.

_Because what else can she say? Y/N’s just realized that she’s been in love with another man this entire time and has no idea how to tell him._

_What if Bucky doesn’t feel the same? Can she risk losing him?_

_“You finally realized it, huh?” Carol asks knowingly as Y/N pulls into her driveway._

_“I think I did, C.” The reply comes out smoother than Y/N thought it would, her chest suddenly feeling lighter as clarity washes over her._

_“About damn time.”_

_…_

Bucky pulls his car into Y/N’s driveway haphazardly, partly from the mild snowstorm happening outside and partly because he’s nervous. Nervous for what, he’s not exactly sure. She always gets his heart thumping a little harder and Bucky’s sure one of these days Y/N will put him into cardiac arrest.

He sucks in a breath as he gets out of his car, preparing himself for the worst. He’s not exactly sure what constitutes as a ‘wedding emergency’ but he’s binged enough episodes of Bridezillas to know it can be anything from the wrong cake topper to the wrong bridesmaids dress color.

Bucky knocks softly on Y/N’s door three times before he takes out his own copy of her key and lets himself in, ignoring the sweet feeling of domesticity he gets when he does so.

Cerulean eyes widen at the sight splayed on the couch before him.

He could just barely make out the messy bun pulled at the top of Y/N’s head, the rest of her swallowed by the massive white cloud of what he thinks is her wedding dress. Bucky steps a little closer and squints his eyes at the bright orange streaks on the fabric in the shape of fingers.

“Are those-? Are you eating Cheetos in your wedding dress?” Bucky asks, utterly perplexed.

Y/N jumps at the sudden voice but relaxes when she realizes it’s just Bucky.

Yeah, _just_ Bucky. The man she’s realized she’s been in love with for who knows how long only a few hours ago.

Now that Y/N thinks of it, it’s never been _just_ Bucky, has it?

“Doritos, actually.” She corrects, forcing herself to get out of her head. “Vodka?” She offers, holding the glass bottle towards him with her left hand.

Bucky’s eyes dart to the half empty bottle and he has to do a double take when he notices her ring finger is without a sparkling diamond.

“Hon, what’s goin’ on?” He asks carefully, gently moving the seemingly endless tulle out of the way so he can sit.

He’s too concerned about her to fully acknowledge the hideous garment that she undoubtedly spent hundreds on.

Y/N worries her lip as she decides how to go about this. Does she tell him everything? Or just skip over the small part that she’s in love with him? Her eyes meet his baby blues that are full of concern and she curses herself for never being able to keep things from him.

“Buck, do you know what an epiphany is?” She asks, shuffling in her dress to face him and hang her arm on the back of her couch.

He blinks. Opens and closes his mouth like a fish before he blinks again, because he doesn’t understand how his best friend is so eerily calm right now.

“I- Y/N are you okay? Where is your ring? Why aren’t you wearing it?” She shrugs his questions off with a wave of her hand.

“Daniel has it. So? Do you know what an epiphany is?” Bucky sighs as he runs his hands through his brown locks, knowing Y/N won’t give him the answer he wants yet.

“Yes, sweetheart. I know what an epiphany is.” Y/N smiles brightly and Bucky’s breath gets caught in his throat.

“Good. I had one today, you know.” Is all she replies, and Bucky’s too distracted by her sunshine smile to question where she’s going with this.

“Care to share?” He asks, leaning closer to her with a sparkle in his eyes that she’s never noticed before.

Y/N shakes her head in disbelief at the man across from her. How had she not figured this out sooner? The butterflies in her stomach whenever he looks at her, how he’s always so interested and enthusiastic about what she has to say, no matter what it is. How she feels like she can accomplish anything if she has him by her side.

A moment of courage and she’s cupping Bucky’s face in her hands and brushing her lips against his, small sparks stinging her mouth as if she dragged her socked feet on the carpet beforehand.

“I almost gave my heart to the wrong man.” Y/N whispered, gaze locked on Bucky’s hooded eyes. He breaks out in a smile so wide she worries his face will split into two.

“Yeah?” He breathes, pulling her in for another kiss because _he can._ “Have you found the right one?” Y/N chuckles and shoves his broad shoulder.

“Yeah. Turns out that boy who thought my dress to the eighth-grade snowball was hideous really knows how to steal a girl's heart.” Bucky barks out a laugh and pulls Y/N into his lap, the two buried in white tulle. He brushes her messy hair out of her eyes and smiles.

“I hate to break it to you, but that dress can’t compete with this one.” Y/N gasps and folds her arms across her chest.

“And to think I was going to kiss you again.” Bucky rolls his eyes as he rubs his thumbs across her lower back.

“Are you sure about this? I’ve loved you since we were kids. You’re it for me, Y/N. My heart is yours. Always has been, always will be.” He looks up at her with such adoration that Y/N is sure she’ll burst.

“I’ve never been surer, Bucky. I love you, I think I always have.” Y/N traces her fingers over his cheekbones and the crinkles by his eyes and her heart nearly gives out when Bucky leans into her touch, kissing the inside of her hand.

“I’m sorry it took so long.” He shakes his head and presses his lips against hers firmly, hugging her against his chest.

“As long as I can kiss you for the rest of my life, you’re forgiven.”

Y/N giggles into his neck, the smell of leather and that cinnamon candy Bucky loves so much flood her senses and Y/N comes to another realization.

She wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her life kissing Bucky Barnes.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a writing challenge! Prompt is in bold. Hope you like it!


End file.
